"99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name"

"A day without sunshine is like, night."

"Honk if you love Peace and Quiet"

"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."

"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools"

"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep"

"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."

"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."

"When there's a will, I want to be in it!"

"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"

"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"