"99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name"
"A day without sunshine is like, night."
"Honk if you love Peace and Quiet"
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools"
"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep"
"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."
"When there's a will, I want to be in it!"
"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."
"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"