A dude gets into a taxi after a long night at the bars and halfway home decides he needs some fast food. He taps the driver on the shoulder and suddenly the driver SCREAMS!! --swerves across the road and jumps the sidewalk stopping just short of a cement barrier.

Then driver turns around and says "Don't EVER, EVER tap me on the shoulder while I'm driving!!"

The passenger says, "GEEZ. I'm sorry; I didn't know it would scare you so much."

The driver replies, "before this I drove a HEARSE for 25 years!!”